I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
