I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize