can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
