Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
