I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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