I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
