Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
