dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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