Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
