woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
