my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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