Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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