I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just puked most of my soul out..
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