It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
