There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
