Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Randomize
