There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
