She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize