If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
