wrigley field is MILF paradise
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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