dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
