dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
