i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
