just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
