And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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