We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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