I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
