What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
did i just pee glitter
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
