My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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