i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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