Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
