I molested 6 butterflies tonight
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
