I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize