they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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