My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
