Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
