I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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