Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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