We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Come share oat with me in your robe
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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