No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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