the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
