what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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