If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
plz talk dirty to me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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