The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
