I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
