Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
