Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
