Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
