At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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