I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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