Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
