i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
