life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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