It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
