Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
