There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
