you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
