I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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