So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
