p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
