I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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