thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
