Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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