i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize