Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
