When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And then my night got REAL pukey
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
