Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
