i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize