I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
